So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
