Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
