so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
