On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
