So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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