do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize