Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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