I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize