I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
