party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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