i already hear my dad disowning me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize