Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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