Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
