she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
