Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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