Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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