She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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