I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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