He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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