I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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