I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
