I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize