My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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