thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
