Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Every concussion has its silver lining
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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