I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
