Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
