And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
