he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
