Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
