Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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