if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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