I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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