their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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