Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
