Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
