theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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