So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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