dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
