I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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