i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
