i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize