"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
