he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
