i just wanna soil my oats bro
it wasn't lemon gatorade
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
