it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
