No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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