Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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