she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
