That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
