i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize