Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
