his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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