YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
