he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize