your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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