i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
