mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
